A Singles Guide to Getting Through the Holidays
Tuesday, December 1st, 2009Kymber Veautour
TIS the season to be jolly, or so goes the opening line of a well-known holiday song. Many people, most notably single men and women who find themselves alone on yet another Christmas Day or New Year’s Eve, find the holidays are anything but a time of joy.
For most it is a time of introspection, self-analysis and resolution, processes that for some singles can lead to depression and despondency. Now melancholy and gloom do not a happy holiday make. Instead of sitting around bemoaning a lost love or the lack of a mate, take positive steps to make your holiday a time of joy and celebration, a period of giving and sharing. At the very least you will have a great time and spread a little joy to those around you.
“Depression occurs so often during the holidays because people’s expectations aren’t met,” says Joyce Hamilton Berry, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Washington, D.C. “And due to lack of planning, they end up being alone during the holidays. Most people expect a Currier and Ives Christmas; they look at commercials on television and see family settings where everybody is so happy and the festivities are opulent. If they don’t have that, then something must be wrong, they reason.”
Let us look at some ways to make the holidays even more enjoyable no matter who you are.
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS: During the holidays, many people reflect on the past year and start making resolutions for the new one. But instead of pondering the positive aspects of their lives, most think about the things they don’t have: a mate, the ideal job, the desired salary and lifestyle. I like to start with the first day of Thanksgiving, and every day during November I write down something I am grateful for. It can be as complex as my family, or as easy as the person that pumped my gas that morning so I didn’t get wet.
SEEK THE COMFORT OF FAMILY: Most singles realize the importance of spending the holidays with family and other loved ones, and some wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else at this special time of year. The one thing that people over look is that family is what we make of it. Long ago I realized that my family did not want me around as much as I didn’t want them around. I began to understand that my dearest friends are my family. Now that is who I spend my holidays with. Some family is through birth, and yet others through choice. Cherish them all.
THROW A PARTY: Many singles who find themselves separated from their families decide to throw a party during the holidays to bring all their single friends together.
HOLIDAY GETAWAYS: A number of singles decide to spend the holidays, or at least part of them, in an exotic location.
SHARE WITH OTHERS: Achieve a sense of fulfillment by volunteering to help others during the holidays. Participates in distribution of food to needy families, and prepares dinner for police officers who must work Christmas Day.
ADJUST YOUR ATTITUDE: The holidays are not a time to be mean and bitter, but that is exactly the demeanor that some singles exhibit at this time of year. Instead, adopt a more friendly, outgoing and confident attitude. When you have a positive attitude, others will be drawn to you.
Reprinted with permission.
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